i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
