Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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