Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
