Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
