We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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