I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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