I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
