What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
