i would punch a child for taco bell
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
