i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
