All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
