Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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