I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Acid is not a monday night drug
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We have so much sex to catch up on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
