Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
