Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
