oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
