I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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