Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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