Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
