mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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