I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
