on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
