one two three fourrrrnication!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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