Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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