So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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