Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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