I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
