I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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