My sheets look like a crime scene.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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