i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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