we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
