Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
