so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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