I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
