If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can't just leave with hair like that
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
