She announced her abortion via fbk
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
