What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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