I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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