if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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