Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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