So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
