don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
