apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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