I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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