Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
