By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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