Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
