i don't like sucking hair
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
