we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The power of my boobs compel you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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