i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
