Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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