...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
