We won't sleep together?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize