I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
