Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize