I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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