how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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