so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
