he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
