Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
